When the Day Falls Apart: Choosing Presence Over Perfection

Some days as a parent—or a homeschool mom—just do not go the way we hope.

The dryer had stopped working, and wet clothes were draped across every armrest in the house. I hadn’t slept a wink the night before, which meant my morning workout was weak and left me more drained than energized. By mid-morning, I found myself yelling at my kids for not doing anything right.

They were on edge, crying, wondering how to please me. But as I’ve since learned, the more I yelled, the less their brains could function. Their little nervous systems went into survival mode, not learning mode. The math problems got sloppier, the sentences more incomplete, the words harder to read or spell. And the more mistakes piled up, the more furious I became.

I could feel myself losing control.

Hitting Reset

We weren’t finished with our lessons. The work wasn’t done. But in that moment, I did something that felt unimaginable: I scrapped the plan.

I closed the books, looked at my girls, and said, “Everybody in the car. Change of plans.”

The car ride was quiet at first—still heavy with the tension of the morning. But the day outside was beautiful. With each mile we drove toward the nearby garden, the pressure of the morning began to release. My breathing slowed. My body softened. The girls grew calmer too. By the time we arrived, giggles were bubbling up again.

We spent the afternoon walking a fairy trail—admiring tiny doors tucked into trees, marveling at nature and creativity, and rediscovering our joy in each other’s company. The workbooks at home were still waiting, but so what? They’d be there tomorrow. What mattered was that we had chosen connection over conflict.

What I Learned That Day

1. It’s Okay to Pivot
   Scrapping the plan doesn’t mean failure—it means flexibility. The lesson learned on a fairy trail was far more valuable than the one on the worksheet.

2. Our Energy Sets the Tone
   My kids didn’t need perfect lessons; they needed a calm mom. As my energy shifted, so did theirs.

3. The “One Thing’ Rule
   When everything unravels, focus on doing one thing well (reading aloud, a walk, a conversation). That’s still a win.

4. Presence Over Perfection
   That day reminded me that my children won’t remember the incomplete math problems, the grammar mistakes or if we stayed on schedule. What they’ll remember is the day we chose adventure, laughter, and freedom.

Final Thought

Sometimes the best decision we can make as parents is to stop. To take a break. To let go of the plan and choose presence instead of perfection.

When my kids look back on that day, they don’t recall the tears or the yelling. They remember the fairy trail, the joy of a spontaneous outing, and the connection we shared.

And for me, that’s proof enough: even when the day falls apart, it’s never too late to begin again.